I posted an excerpt of the the opening for CONSEQUENCE, my newest story of Anti on the DMF forums a few nights ago... And Mac, because he's awesome, gave me some critisism on what to change before I continue on.

And I agree with him entirely... But, the things I need to change are proving to be somewhat harder then I was expecting.

He told me that I was being WAY to wordy, and thinking way to in to things... And that eliminates just what charm Anti portrayed in BLACK... apparently, the ability to say a lot, without barely saying anything at all. I've been sitting here for a good half hour or so, trying to kill the entire first page of the story into a measly two paragraphs... Needless to say, I've slashed and hacked the hard copy with a pen, desperatly cutting out whole paragraphs of description that didn't belong there. But... the issue is not so much of WHAT to get rid of.. it's what to replace it with once it's been removed.

This is one of those times that I hate writing with a burning passion.

Much of the dialogue also needs to be reworded... A lot of it came off as pretty fucking lame to me, even though Mac commented that it was okay. I'll probably try and see what the hell I can do with it.

On a personal note, the female gender blows -- And I'm never getting involved with it. Never ever again.

Love, Peace, and Good Whiskey.